Family Is About Who You Choose To Make Your Life With

Blood relatives have often nothing to do with family; family is about who you choose to make your life with. I have a great family around me; a great group of people who I choose to call family and who I choose to surround myself with. These are the people, who I entrust with my life, who I would do anything for and who I know would do anything for me. And it is funny, because a lot of these people are not related to me. But these are people who have been there all my life, or have been there when I was down, who have put themselves aside to help me, who will help me no matter what.

The last few days have been very hard, as you can tell by my posts this week. I have done a lot of thinking, a lot of praying, a lot of searching for answers. I have asked God to guide me and to give me the strength to take my life down the path He wishes for me. And I feel I have found some clarity, a little bit at least. I have talked to my wife a bit more often lately and I have realized, after all, that I do love her so much. I know it is hard for some to understand, but it is reality and it is how I feel. I am still trying to search for answers, believe me, for guidance and patience, but I feel God will send me a sign when it is time for me to take action. Someone told me that they were very proud of me and that they loved how much I loved and cared for others. I know I’ve made mistakes before, in life, in my marriage, but I have never stopped loving with all my life and all my strength. And I’d like to think that as long as my core remains the same, my love for others, for my wife, remains the same, all is possible in this world. I am not going to change anytime soon in how I am, I will continue to love, even if I don’t get it back. It is irrational I know, but it is who I am.

This weekend I felt as if I needed to get away. I needed to leave routine behind for a few days and be with people who love me and who consider me family, just as I consider them family. It was a very long drive last night, but it was worth every second, every mile. Being here last night, today so far, has really helped me. And not because we have talked extensively, or because I have found the answers I need to move on with my life, but because I feel at home, because I feel I am in a place where I can be happy, where I can be sad, where I can be whatever I want, and it will be fine. There are not many places like that in this world for me, where I feel at peace, and there are not many people who can make me feel that peace inside, but I think I chose to come because I knew that would be the case. I have second mother here and two more brothers. I know that they will be there for whatever I need and I will be there for whatever they need. It is a funny feeling, because we don’t talk that often, yet when I saw them last night; it was as if we have seen each other every day for years. You only get that feeling with a handful of people in this world and we should learn to cherish those relationships, take care of them and value them like gold. We all need family to get through hard times, we all need to open ourselves and count on that family to help us, to pick us up when we are down and to cheer us up when times get hard. We need them to put that smile back on our face. Family is not just an important thing, it is everything.