We Are Defined Not By How Much We Love But By How Much We Are Loved

I have never been a big believer of Valentine's Day. I don't think I need someone, or something, to tell me when to be nice, when to be a husband. But this year it certainly is hard, simply because I don't have that someone to share it with. I do a lot of things lately because my heart tells me to; and I know, a while back I wrote that it was the heart that was the most deceiving of all. But when you think about it, we have all been there, the heart always has its reasons to lead you down a path, yet there is no reason at all behind them. We do things because we feel it is the right thing to do, even when we know we shouldn't. I great friend told me a while ago, multiple times, to stop following my heart, because it would just hurt me, yet she knew that I would do it anyway, and she would be there to pick up the pieces.

Days like these are days where not only do we show our love for others, but we realize how much we are loved by others. And that is something that we struggle with, a lot of us. A lot of us, me included at times, have a hard time accepting that we are important to others, that we are loved, very much, by others; let that be insecurities, lack of love for ourselves, hanging issues from our childhoods, or mere low self esteem, we find it very hard to let others in and let their love come upon us. I know that I have had that struggle at times, and I know that my wife does as well. It is almost a feeling as if we don't feel to be worthy, or good enough, to be loved by great people, as if we don't deserve love; in a way we question the other person's motives for loving us. But when I think about it, who are we to decide who should and shouldn't love us? Why do we try to convince ourselves that we are not lovable? Regardless of our actions in life, our pasts, there are people who will always love us, because they understand we are human and we make mistakes. I think I said a while back that one of the greatest gifts a person can give is forgiveness. It takes a special person to forgive, to truly forgive, yet sometimes we seem unable to accept forgiveness. I know my wife struggles with this, she seems to think I am unable to forgive her, to love her, or better yet, that she doesn't deserve to be forgiven or loved; yet I do. But again, why do we try to decide for others, what they should and shouldn't do? If we love them, truly love them, shouldn't we accept what they give us, unconditionally? We need to understand that the greatest love of all comes from God and God forgives us all, if we ask for forgiveness; and people of faith follow the same creed, they forgive.

I hope everyone out there can have a happy Valentine's Day, however you choose to define that. I not only hope that you can show someone you love them, but also that you can feel loved by someone. All I ask is that you let those people in, let people love you and understand that we are all worthy of that. We all deserve to be loved, and we are. Dwelling on the past accomplishes nothing, hurts us more and keeps us stagnate. Smile in times of trouble and smile in times of joy. Smile at the future and smile at the past, it makes you who you are; give that smile to those you love and those who love you. Let that smile come from your heart; it is courage for the future, not happiness from the past that should truly bring a smile to us. Think of a smile as your sword in this constant struggle with life, to help you through hard times, to go through hell and come out better. My wife's favourite flower is the iris, and the reason I mention this is because I like to think of flowers, blooming, as God smiling at the world, at us.  As long as you keep smiling yourself, regardless of what is happening in the world around us, it will always be sunny inside of you. Always smile, it is free therapy.