I Like Intelligent Women - When You're Together, It Shouldn't Be a Staring Contest

As men we sometimes forget the power women have over our lives, the influence they have over us and all the joys and sorrows they give us. And let me be clear, I am talking about all the women in our lives, wives, mothers, sisters, in laws, friends, etc... It is funny because we don't really realize, until we are older, that it is all these women who have such an impact on us.

A few days ago I wrote an entire post about my mom, really the woman who has made me the man I am today, the one who taught me all my values and morals, the one who fought for me so much. Another woman in my life is my sister in law, someone who I have now known for over ten years. Saturday was her birthday, so a big Happy Birthday goes out to her! She has really shown me so much support during this time, she invited me into her family's home for Christmas, and has all throughout been there for me. I have learned over the past few weeks, so much about her, and have really learned to respect all she has done, not only for me, but for her family, her husband, her son. She is someone who has such a strong personality and character, and someone who I feel really truly cares about me. She sent me something a few days ago, an excerpt, that really applies to me and has somewhat opened my eyes. It comes from the book "The Time Traveler's Wife"; not something I want to read right now, mainly because I don't want more sadness, but here is the short excerpt...

"It is so hard to be left behind.

I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he is OK.

It is hard to be the one who stays. I keep myself busy, time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired.

I watch the wind play with the trash that has been under the snow all winter.

Everything seems simple until you think about it.

Why is love intensified by absence?"

"Long ago men went to sea, and women waited for them,

standing on the edge of the water, scanning the water for the tiny ship.

Now I wait for Henry. He vanished unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him.

Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity.

Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass.

Through each moment I see infinite moments lined up, waiting.

Why has he gone where I cannot follow?"

Of course I don't wait for Henry! But the point, I think, is pretty clear. It is very hard to be the one left behind and it is hard for us to come to grip with that reality. I know I have said that before, but I think what I really want to talk about today, is how we can't just sit and wait. You read this excerpt and truly, it is so sad, and I am sure the book is probably sadder. But I think this opened my eyes to reality, a reality where you simply cannot sit and wait. Someone left me a comment on a different post a few days back which said, you can't wait for permission to move on. And whoever that was, is so right. I think I am finally able to move on in the sense that, I've accepted and faced reality, I've made it my reality. And it doesn't mean I forget about what is going on, because I don't know what the future holds, but I've accepted that now I live in a new reality, and to be honest it is a good feeling. Sometimes these realizations just come to us, and it did to me, throught things that happened. In the words of Steven Tyler,

"It's Amazing,

With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright"

I was finally able to truly, honestly not worry about things these past few days. I was able to just live life and have fun I guess. I realized life is too short to be spent worrying about things you simply cannot control. We'd drive ourselves crazy trying to do so! I know, and really have known for a while, that I cannot control this situation, never have been and never will. And to be honest, I don't want to try anymore. I didn't make these decision, I just reacted to life. We have to be quick to react and bounce back, remember I said earlier, life won't wait for us. These past few days, for the first time in over a month, I was finally able to actually have fun, do things I want to do, not think of the past. Things in life happen for a reason and sometimes we over-analyze them and other times we under-analyze them; and in all honesty, we shouldn't do either. We should take things for what they are, be objective, realistic. But regardless of all else, I have learned one thing; that it is the women in our lives that are usually right. Women have a way of making the highs higher and at the same time, the lows more frequent. And we take both. There is no doubt that women have always been the stronger ones, emotionally, spiritually, and even often times physically. Listen to the women in your life, they will more often than not lead you in the right direction.