I know that sounds negative but if you think about it, it is entirely true. Love is nothing more than the absence of judgement, us becoming vulnerable to someone else, giving ourselves entirely to someone who can take it all away in a second. When we think about the love we have for someone, rational thinking goes out the window. I know it very well. The first month I would have done absolutely anything to make this marriage work, I would have put everything that happened aside, because of love. But as time goes by, rationality sets back in, and mostly due to apathy, a feeling of numbness to everything and everyone around you. And I'm not saying it is right to feel that way, but it is natural, it is part of the process.
But back to love. What really is love? Love is a lot more than just a feeling, a lot more than a feeling for someone. Love is a realization that we no longer are individuals, but that we now share something with someone else. Love is unselfish; it's caring, protecting someone, at all costs. Think of love as the fire on a grill; in the beginning the flames of love are blazing, often very hot and fierce! ;) But as love grows between two people, hearts mature, and love starts to become more like hot coals; slow but steady burning. We sometimes get so caught up on saying those 3 precious words, and what they mean. And don't get me wrong I honestly believe, and I have said it on this blog before, always tell those you love, that you love them, because you never know if that will be the last time you talk to them. But what do those words mean without actions behind them? Love is more-so true devotion to someone else, it is sustained by actions and loyalty, every day. I've said it before and I'll say it again, love is more than just romantic excitement. If it was everyone would be in love after the first date! It is much more than a pure desire to be with someone. I guess to me it is a deep appreciation for someone else, for who they are and who they help you become. It is loving someone for who they choose to be and not who you want them to be, because that would be nothing more than loving a reflection of yourself in someone else.
We all define love differently and I guess what I am saying is that love means different things to all of us. But I think that the purest of definitions is the absolute wish for someone else's happiness. Love is not only being happy when those we love are happy, but feeling pain when they feel pain. I can honestly say I wish for my wife's happiness, whatever that means. I know that if she is happy, I will be happy; that is just the kind of person I am, or better yet, the person I have become and want to be. And that is truly sincere from me, I have always wished that for her, even from the beginning. But I now also wish for my own happiness, wherever and with whomever that may be. I know in the end it'll all be OK, I know I'll be happy and I know she'll be happy. I know that in this process I have met and will meet new people, important people. I said it yesterday, I am open to new opportunities and new ventures, I know life has a plan for me. Always keep love in your heart; a life without love is like a garden without sun.
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