On the eve of Christmas, I want to reflect on what Christmas really means. I think we all consider Christmas a time of year, a time to be with family and friends, a time to rejoice the great moments of the year, a time to celebrate, eat and drink. But Christmas is much more than just a time of year, a season; it is a feeling, a state of mind if you will. If you don't have Christmas in your heart, then how can you enjoy it? Christmas is a time for us to cherish peace and goodwill, and remember all that God has done for us, after all it is baby Jesus' birthday! It is a time when we remember all that he did for us, all he sacrificed for us, and it is a time when we can be merciful of others, like he was, to have the real spirit of Christmas. I am trying to do this tonight, trust me, as I grieve with all that has happened. I know mercy and forgiveness is what will give me peace inside, what will give me the true spirit of Christmas. This is a very hard Christmas for me. I am away from my wife, and to be honest I don't know how she feels about being away from me, especially on this night. She has to feel something, right? I mean, she is human after all. But I don't know that and I think that is what has kept me down all this time, uncertainty. But as things become more clear as the days go by, I continue to find more peace inside and my compassion for her grows. I'd like to think that is the Christmas spirit in me, coming out. I don't want to feel angry, resentful or spiteful; all those feelings go against everything this season stands for and I will not let that ruin my Christmas. I know it is natural to be hateful to someone who has hurt you so much, but we must be better people. We have always been told, don't do to others what you don't want done to you, and I firmly stand by that. Just because someone hurts you, badly, doesn't mean you should hurt them too. We need to be better than that, better than those who hurt us, that is what defines our character, our principles and that is what Christmas is all about. It's about being kind, becoming better people.
Christmas is just as much a time of celebration, a time to celebrate what family really means. Even after all that has happened, I am still lucky enough to have spent this Christmas with family, people I consider family. I never thought I would be where I am today, spending Christmas Eve, but I am, and I am incredibly grateful to the people who have taken me in, who invited me into their home, to be part of their Christmas. I am so sad I am not able to spend this Christmas with my wife, I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurts me. But I am so happy I get to spend it with my little nephew, my brother, his wife and all her family. They have really shown me the true spirit of Christmas, and as hard as it will be to go through today and tomorrow, I will be forever grateful to them for this. Christmas to me is love in action, is a time when we show our love for others through our actions, it is a time when we share our blessings with our loved ones, remember all those less fortunate than us and give peace to others and to ourselves.
As I continue on this journey, I know I'm going to be OK, I know there is a plan for me. I love Christmas, I love everything about it, time with family, the food, the lights, the music, the peace that one finds inside during this time of year. I ask you that you consider this time a time to do goodwill, to be a good person, to put others ahead of you. I know people have done it for me this Christmas. The feeling of Christmas should never end, no matter what time of year. I honestly believe that a clean conscience is a never ending Christmas, a never ending feeling of Christmas. But what does that really mean? I think what I am trying to say is that as long as our hearts are filled with love, kindness, truth, goodwill and mercy for others, the spirit of Christmas is always with us, Christmas never ends. If our hearts are tainted, filled with remorse, spite, deceit and hatred, then we simply can't enjoy the Christmas spirit, because it is not there. Remember that if you don't have Christmas truly in your heart, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you will never ever find it under a tree.
No comments:
Post a Comment