I know my last post was sad, depressing, maybe even suicidal, as some would say! But that was not the point. I wanted to vent, I wanted to ask why, ask why to the world, why did this have to happen to me. But there is nothing I can do about that, nothing at all. God decides what happens to us, and like I said, if we are going to ask why me in times of sadness, during hard times, then why don't we do it in happy times? Do we simply think we deserve everything good in life? Either way, what happens will happen, and at this point, it is all out of my control.
Moving on, let's talk about family. What does family really mean? Is it only our relatives, our blood relatives? Is our family predetermined by something, or someone, we have no control over? I would disagree with that. A family is nothing more than a group of people who love each other, who are there for each other, regardless, a group of people who consider each other family. You can find family anywhere. Yes, of course, your mom's brother is part of your family, and there is nothing you can do about that! But family goes much further than that. You can consider family anyone you'd like, anyone you think deserves to be called your family; anyone who you would do anything for. There are a lot of people, not blood relatives, who I consider family. These are people who I know would do anything for me, be there for me. I have known people, for a lifetime and for a short time, people who I consider more-so family, than some in my actual family! Weird, but true. Why should we restrict the word family to only those people who we have no control over, only those people related to us? Why should someone, or something, say who is and who is not our family? We form our own families, we choose who we call family, and no one, I mean no one, can tell us who to call family. On a side note, by the way, how great is Whole Foods! I mean, they have free chips and guacamole and sushi during lunch; I just drive around with an empty cart and keep taking free samples! Ok, back to seriousness... I think sometimes newlyweds believe that until they have kids they don't really have a family, but I have learned that all you need to start a new family is a husband and a wife, that is your family. So, if you quit on marriage, aren't you also quitting on your family? Wouldn't that make sense? I guess so, and I would also say that quitting on that family is just as bad as quitting on your mom, your dad, your brothers, that original family; if not even worse. This is a family you chose, not inherited. When we marry someone, we make a commitment, we make a union with someone else to be there, to take a bullet for them, to fight, to smile; just like you would and had, all your life, for your mom, your dad, your brothers. People always say, your family will always be there, no matter what. Why do we not think the same way about our husbands or our wives? What is different? Do we feel as if we are "stuck" with our mom and dad and so on? As if regardless of what we do, they are still going to be there, we can't get rid of them. If more people took the same approach to their newly formed families, their husbands, their wives, as if they have to be there for them, always, not matter what, then maybe more families would stay together, more families would choose to fight and don't give up.
We have such an instant gratification approach to life today, including marriage, that we feel we can just get rid of things if we don't like them and move on. Why do we feel like the effort is not necessary? Is it not worth it? I don't have all the answers, don't get me wrong, but I do know one thing; I know now, this experience has shown me, that I am a fighter, I will fight for what I believe is right, for what I committed to in my mind; and that to me is family. We need to face the fact that, after forming a family, we have that family to support, and we're not always going to be doing exactly what we want, we sacrifice for that union, for that person. To me, my family comes first, maybe that is what makes me different from other people, other men. Without a family, do we really have anything? And again, remember what I mean by family! I guess a family is that group of people, relatives and friends, who, if you could spend one more day on earth, only one more, you would spend it with them. Can you think of those people? Think about it, all those people you thought you liked, you loved to "hang out" with, would they make that list? Be honest with yourself! Or would it be full of those people who always are and have been there for you, but maybe you haven't seen lately, maybe are upset at them. Think about who you would put on that list, I can promise you it won't be a long list.
A family, that group of people, is a place where principles rule, where these principles are reinforced, refined, where character is built and sustained. No one has a normal family, we all have our issues, we all fight, we all cry, but at the end of the day, we still love each other, deep inside; those are the people that matter. Families are built in good times but tested, strengthened and unified during hard times. I think we all need to realize that family is not an important thing, it is everything! Without family, and friends, we would have nothing and no one, we would be all alone. Learn to realize who your real family is, think about those people, call them and tell them, I love you, I'm thinking about you. Remember that it is those people, those you call family, those you call friends, that will be there when you are in need, when you need them, not only when they need you. My life, so far, comes down to a few moments, moments that define who I am today; the death of my grandfather, the strength I learned from my mom and my brother, the day I married my wife and the realization that there are people out there who really care about me; all my family - everything else just doesn't seem to add up to very much...
Moving on, let's talk about family. What does family really mean? Is it only our relatives, our blood relatives? Is our family predetermined by something, or someone, we have no control over? I would disagree with that. A family is nothing more than a group of people who love each other, who are there for each other, regardless, a group of people who consider each other family. You can find family anywhere. Yes, of course, your mom's brother is part of your family, and there is nothing you can do about that! But family goes much further than that. You can consider family anyone you'd like, anyone you think deserves to be called your family; anyone who you would do anything for. There are a lot of people, not blood relatives, who I consider family. These are people who I know would do anything for me, be there for me. I have known people, for a lifetime and for a short time, people who I consider more-so family, than some in my actual family! Weird, but true. Why should we restrict the word family to only those people who we have no control over, only those people related to us? Why should someone, or something, say who is and who is not our family? We form our own families, we choose who we call family, and no one, I mean no one, can tell us who to call family. On a side note, by the way, how great is Whole Foods! I mean, they have free chips and guacamole and sushi during lunch; I just drive around with an empty cart and keep taking free samples! Ok, back to seriousness... I think sometimes newlyweds believe that until they have kids they don't really have a family, but I have learned that all you need to start a new family is a husband and a wife, that is your family. So, if you quit on marriage, aren't you also quitting on your family? Wouldn't that make sense? I guess so, and I would also say that quitting on that family is just as bad as quitting on your mom, your dad, your brothers, that original family; if not even worse. This is a family you chose, not inherited. When we marry someone, we make a commitment, we make a union with someone else to be there, to take a bullet for them, to fight, to smile; just like you would and had, all your life, for your mom, your dad, your brothers. People always say, your family will always be there, no matter what. Why do we not think the same way about our husbands or our wives? What is different? Do we feel as if we are "stuck" with our mom and dad and so on? As if regardless of what we do, they are still going to be there, we can't get rid of them. If more people took the same approach to their newly formed families, their husbands, their wives, as if they have to be there for them, always, not matter what, then maybe more families would stay together, more families would choose to fight and don't give up.
We have such an instant gratification approach to life today, including marriage, that we feel we can just get rid of things if we don't like them and move on. Why do we feel like the effort is not necessary? Is it not worth it? I don't have all the answers, don't get me wrong, but I do know one thing; I know now, this experience has shown me, that I am a fighter, I will fight for what I believe is right, for what I committed to in my mind; and that to me is family. We need to face the fact that, after forming a family, we have that family to support, and we're not always going to be doing exactly what we want, we sacrifice for that union, for that person. To me, my family comes first, maybe that is what makes me different from other people, other men. Without a family, do we really have anything? And again, remember what I mean by family! I guess a family is that group of people, relatives and friends, who, if you could spend one more day on earth, only one more, you would spend it with them. Can you think of those people? Think about it, all those people you thought you liked, you loved to "hang out" with, would they make that list? Be honest with yourself! Or would it be full of those people who always are and have been there for you, but maybe you haven't seen lately, maybe are upset at them. Think about who you would put on that list, I can promise you it won't be a long list.
A family, that group of people, is a place where principles rule, where these principles are reinforced, refined, where character is built and sustained. No one has a normal family, we all have our issues, we all fight, we all cry, but at the end of the day, we still love each other, deep inside; those are the people that matter. Families are built in good times but tested, strengthened and unified during hard times. I think we all need to realize that family is not an important thing, it is everything! Without family, and friends, we would have nothing and no one, we would be all alone. Learn to realize who your real family is, think about those people, call them and tell them, I love you, I'm thinking about you. Remember that it is those people, those you call family, those you call friends, that will be there when you are in need, when you need them, not only when they need you. My life, so far, comes down to a few moments, moments that define who I am today; the death of my grandfather, the strength I learned from my mom and my brother, the day I married my wife and the realization that there are people out there who really care about me; all my family - everything else just doesn't seem to add up to very much...
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