My story is no different than that of many other people. I had everything that I ever wanted, a wonderful wife, a great job, great friends, new and old, a loving family... I thought everything was bright and life had become what I had always wanted it to be. Then one day it all changed; my wife told me she was confused, lost, she didn't know if this was what she wanted. We took a few days apart, so she could figure what that confusion was, what the source of the unhappiness was. After several days, she officially decided she wanted to take some time alone, time to be by herself, time away from the marriage, to figure things out.
Surprisingly I took it very well, I don't know why... Maybe I am too rational... But it broke me inside, it really did, as it would anyone else. I felt alone, I felt like my world was falling apart. It is that feeling in your stomach, where you just can't move forward like this; it is simply terrible. This happened Wednesday and that night was miserable. For over a week, I had not been able to sleep, eat much, or concentrate at all for that matter. The uncertainty was killing me. But when reality hit, it was worse than I thought. But you have to realize that live goes on. I told her the door to her home would always be open for her to come back, at any time, but I couldn't promise how I would feel at that time. I realized I needed to move on; I needed to move forward and live my life as well. She had made a decision and that decision came with the consequence of possibly losing me forever. That is the last thing I think about right now, but time does strange things to people. I had to come to grip with the fact that then, at that moment, it was me, alone. It is a feeling a don't wish on anyone. Sometimes it takes losing something to realize what it was that you had. It is a sad reality, but very true. It has happened to everyone at some level, I know it has happened to me. Sometimes we are lucky and are able to get that back before it is too late; sometimes we are not so lucky.
But with risk come consequences and we all know this. It pains me to see this happen, it really does, but there is not much I can do now. The ball is on her court and I am sitting on the bench. I now have to move forward alone, and if she ever decides to come back home and look for happiness again, I know I will be ready, mentally and emotionally, to handle whatever it is that life brings me. Life is a bitch everyone, but it is how we react when it knocks us down that defines us as the person we are. In the words of the great Jimmy V, "Don't give up... Don't ever give up..."
Surprisingly I took it very well, I don't know why... Maybe I am too rational... But it broke me inside, it really did, as it would anyone else. I felt alone, I felt like my world was falling apart. It is that feeling in your stomach, where you just can't move forward like this; it is simply terrible. This happened Wednesday and that night was miserable. For over a week, I had not been able to sleep, eat much, or concentrate at all for that matter. The uncertainty was killing me. But when reality hit, it was worse than I thought. But you have to realize that live goes on. I told her the door to her home would always be open for her to come back, at any time, but I couldn't promise how I would feel at that time. I realized I needed to move on; I needed to move forward and live my life as well. She had made a decision and that decision came with the consequence of possibly losing me forever. That is the last thing I think about right now, but time does strange things to people. I had to come to grip with the fact that then, at that moment, it was me, alone. It is a feeling a don't wish on anyone. Sometimes it takes losing something to realize what it was that you had. It is a sad reality, but very true. It has happened to everyone at some level, I know it has happened to me. Sometimes we are lucky and are able to get that back before it is too late; sometimes we are not so lucky.
But with risk come consequences and we all know this. It pains me to see this happen, it really does, but there is not much I can do now. The ball is on her court and I am sitting on the bench. I now have to move forward alone, and if she ever decides to come back home and look for happiness again, I know I will be ready, mentally and emotionally, to handle whatever it is that life brings me. Life is a bitch everyone, but it is how we react when it knocks us down that defines us as the person we are. In the words of the great Jimmy V, "Don't give up... Don't ever give up..."
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