Make It Your Habit Not to Be Critical of Small Things

I think a lot of us believe that it is the small things in life, and in marriage, that matter the most. But is that really true? If we think about it, are the small things, those little things we do for each other and for others, are those the things that will lead us to happiness? I personally don't think so, and don't get me wrong, I do believe they do matter, to an extent, but it is hard to understand sometimes why all of us, me included, pay so much attention to those little things. As the title says, why are we so critical of small things? I am yet to understand the reasons of my wife's departure. They all seem to me like "small things". They all seem to me like things that shouldn't affect one's happiness, or better yet, are things that can easily be worked on, changed. But then again, we all consider different things for our happiness. It is funny how life works, how out of nowhere it will put something in front of you that makes so much sense, and relates so much to you. Tonight, my brother shared with me something he saw, a story of sorts, something that when I read it, I just laughed and immediately thought about putting it up here. So here it is; I think it truly shines some light on those little things, those little things we spend so much time and energy worrying about.

"A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full; they agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly, the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full; they agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full; the students responded with a unanimous yes. The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand; the students laughed. 

'Now', the professor said as laughter subsided. 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and you favorite passions - and if everything else was lost and only them remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children, spend time with your parents, visit the grandparents, take your spouse out to dinner, play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities, the rest is just sand".

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked. The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend".

I think we sometimes worry so much about the little things, that we forget about those things that are truly important in life. We have been told so many times that it is the little things that matter, that we have started to take that as if the big things don't. We need to spend more time on the things that matter most. And again, don't get me wrong, as I said earlier, the small things do matter as well, but I do believe however, that it is more so in a way where if you let those small things go, build up, they will become big things, and therefore become problems. I recently read a quote that ties in very well with this post. It said, "What a profound significance small things assume when the woman we love conceals them from us". I feel that is what has lead to my situation. I feel it is an accumulation of small things, things that could have been worked on, but there was no communication. And for whatever reason that was, it is reality now. Spend time worrying about the things that matter most, don't leave your future in someone else's hands and pay attention to the small things but don't be critical of them; life is too short to be wasted on that sand.